Dumpers remorse refers to the regret, ambivalence, and general discomfort someone feels after breaking up with someone. Not everyone goes through this experience, but it's extremely common. Generally speaking, breakups are hard on everyone.
Generally speaking, some dumpers regret their decision to break up only weeks after the incident. Other dumpers need years to feel that way. And some never even arrive at the final stage of dumpers remorse. Instead, they move on to someone else — be it a rebound or not.
What Does The Dumper Feel After A Breakup? He probably has similar feelings to the dumpee. He may be feeling like his world's shattered now that the relationship is over, but he may still think he made the right call in ending the relationship. There's a good chance that he regrets the decision, though.
If you average all the reputable research on the ex recovery process and chances of getting your ex back, there's about a 43.5% chance your ex will come back without doing anything. Those aren't exactly betting odds. That means six out of ten times you're probably not going to get your ex back.
In most cases, if you give your ex enough space, they will at some point miss you. Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to get on their hands and knees and beg for you back. For some the “missing emotion” can be fleeting.
In short, I'm of the belief that most dumpers ARE NOT afraid to contact their exes. Instead, they're simply falling victim to their natural avoidant tendencies which makes most people think they're afraid of contacting them.
The psychology of no contact on the Dumper
Dumpers have it easier during no contact than dumpees — they move through the breakup stages much faster, for starters. Still, there are also many similarities when comparing the experiences of the two. Dumpers may also want their ex back.
The dumper and the dumpee, both go through pain, anxiety, fear of loss, jealousy, hate, and reconsideration through different stages. That's why during the No contact the dumper and the dumpee swap the feelings interchangeably.
There is no easy way to deal with a breakup, but remaining silent actually speaks volumes to your ex. After all, actions speak louder than words! By staying silent, you're telling your ex that you're strong, resilient, and independent. You're relying on yourself — and no one else — for your own happiness.
The answer is different for everyone, but many men will experience a pang of regret within about a month to six weeks after breaking up with you. Dumper's remorse, as I call it, is very real. It happens to pretty much everyone who ever dumps a person.
Your ex is so blindsided by the novelty of being in a new situation that he 100% feels he's made the right decision. This stage in the dumpers regret timeline tends to brief. It often only lasts a few weeks to up to a month.
Initially, they feel happy and relieved that they have done the job of dumping you - they will have been thinking about if for some time, even though it might have been a shock for you. The first few weeks they will just be glad it's over and be enjoying their life without you.
It's difficult to have patience when you want your ex back, but it's a huge mistake to not allow enough time for their dumper's remorse to develop. On average, our successful clients take around three to six months to get back with their ex, and this starts from the time they implement a successful No Contact Rule.
Last and most of all, the male dumper's regret timeline reaches the stage of actively trying to get you back. He knows you from the inside out and as a result he also knows ways to win you back. He won't usually be direct with big romantic gestures, but he'll make it clear that he wants to change for you.
Some people may be asking, “Does No Contact work?”. While everyone's ex is different, the No Contact Rule does increase the likelihood of your ex missing you and wanting to come back. In essence, it will show them that you are not available for them whenever they want you and that you have your own life to live.
The best revenge is no reaction. Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in.
Some people may think that ignoring your ex is the best revenge. This allows them to wonder about you since they don't see you checking up on them, and you may be fine without them. In general terms, having no contact at all for at least 30 days after a breakup can give ignoring your ex the best chance at working.
It may seem cold if they seem like they don't care at you at all but our research has found that isn't entirely true. Dumpers do hurt just like dumpees but they have a different way of processing the grief than you do because they view relationships in a different way fundamentally.
If a secure attachment ex broke up with you, they are much more likely to move on from the breakup quickly compared to the other attachment styles. They have so much fortitude and self-confidence that they understand that there is much more to them as individuals aside from their relationship.
Typically, evidence suggests the dumpee normally faces more pain and they certainly do suffer the most intensity of emotions. That being said the dumper rarely escapes pain free.
They're dreading this, too, so when you don't contact them at all, they'll feel relieved. After a little while, they might start to wonder why you're not reaching out though. They thought you'd do one thing, but you're doing something completely different.
They are signaling that they don't want to be dependent anymore. Some Dumpers don't like that and will make an attempt to get their power over them back. This is the reason Dumpers eventually contact the Dumpee.